please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
