Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Found your dick twin last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
