just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
