Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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