You really coming over, don't trick.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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