I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
