this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
