you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
