I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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