jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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