u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
