Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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