I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
They have beer where we have blood.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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