The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize