So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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