Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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