I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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