We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
