I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
