I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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