The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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