every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
