That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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