Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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