Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
