I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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