Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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