Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
