Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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