i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
