Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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