Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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