The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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