sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
