he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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