Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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