Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.

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(516): View more from New York

A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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(650): View more from California

i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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(919): View more from North Carolina

the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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(775): View more from Nevada

You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going

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