Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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