garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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