I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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