I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
