Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize