My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I could fuck to npr.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The air taste purple.
Randomize
