it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
