i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
