That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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