I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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