yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
