Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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