Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
