He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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