sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
