She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
