OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize