after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
