Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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