break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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